THINGS TO DO AT WALMART WHILE YOUR FRIENDS/FAMILY TAKE THEIR OWN SWEET
TIME

1.  Get boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples' carts when
    they aren't looking.
2.  Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10-minute intervals.
3.  Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
4.  Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "I
    think we have a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
5.  Put some M&M's on lay away.
6.  Move CAUTION WET FLOOR signs to carpet areas.
7.  Set up a tent in the camping department, tell others you'll only
    invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
8.  When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why
    won't you people leave me alone."
9.  Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while
    you pick your nose.
10. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from 'Mission
    Impossible.'
11. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he
    knows where the anti-depressants are.
12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different
    size funnels.
13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through  whisper
    "PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal
    position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
15. Go to the fitting room and yell real loud....."Hey we're out of
    toilet paper in here!"

Index