Love you enemies
Just in case your friends turn out to be
a bunch of bastards  :)


  
  Lotta self-help tapes out there.  Got one called "How to Handle 
  Disappointment."  I got it home and the box was empty.
       
  On psychic phone sex: "What are you wearing?  No, wait, don't tell 
  me."
      
       
  On underwear: I'm opening a pair of underwear the other day and a 
  little piece of paper falls out right on the floor.  I pick it up. 
  "Inspected by Mary Lou."  "Well, thank God," I thought, "That last 
  pair burst into flames. Now that Mary Lou's on the job, I can walk 
  around safe in my underwear."
             
  I'm into golf now.  I'm getting pretty good.  I can almost hit the 
  ball as far as I can throw the clubs.

      I am so fat that when I get on the scale, it says, "To be continued."
 

 


A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup.  As she takes off her
blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest.  "How did you get that mark on
your chest?" asks the doctor.  "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's
so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when
we make love," she replies.

A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup.  As she takes
off her blouse, he notices a blue "Y" on her chest.  "How did you get that
mark on your chest?" asks the doctor.  "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and
he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when
we make love," she replies.

A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup.  As she take
off her blouse, he notices a green "M" on her chest.  "Do you have a
boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor.  "No, but I have a girlfriend at
Wisconsin.  Why do you ask?"

Index