Marketing Buzz Words Translated:

* NEW -                    Different color from previous design
* ALL NEW -                Parts not interchangable with previous design
* EXCLUSIVE -              Imported product
* UNMATCHED -              Almost as good as the competition
* DESIGNED SIMPLICITY -    Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone
* FOOLPROOF OPERATION -    No provision for adjustments
* ADVANCED DESIGN -        The advertising agency doesn't understand it
* IT'S HERE AT LAST! -     Rush job; Nobody knew it was coming
* FIELD-TESTED -           Manufacturer lacks test equipment
* HIGH ACCURACY -          Unit on which all parts fit
* DIRECT SALES ONLY -      Factory had big argument with distributor
* YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT -   We finally got one that works
* REVOLUTIONARY -          It's different from our competitiors
* BREAKTHROUGH -           We finally figured out a way to sell it
* FUTURISTIC -             No other reason why it looks the way it does
* DISTINCTIVE -            A different shape and color than the others
* MAINTENANCE-FREE -       Impossible to fix
* RE-DESIGNED -            Previous faults corrected, we hope..
* HAND-CRAFTED -           Assembly machines operated without gloves on
* PERFORMANCE PROVEN -     Will operate through the warranty period
* MEETS ALL STANDARDS -    Ours, not yours
* ALL SOLID-STATE -        Heavy as Hell!
* BROADCAST QUALITY -      Gives a picture and produces noise
* HIGH RELIABILITY -       We made it work long enough to ship it
* SMPTE BUS COMPATABILE -  When completed, will be shipped by Greyhound
* NEW GENERATION -         Old design failed, maybe this one will work
* MIL-SPEC COMPONENTS -    We got a good deal at a government auction
* CUSTOMER SERVICE
  ACROSS THE COUNTRY -     You can return it from most airports
* UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE -  Nothing we ever had before worked THIS way
* BUILT TO
  PRECISION TOLERANCES -   We finally got it to fit together
* SATISFACTION GUARANTEED -  Manufacturer's, upon cashing your check
* MICROPROCESSOR CONTROLLED -  Does things we can't explain
* AEROSPACE TECHNOLOGY -   One of our techs was laid off by Boeing

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