What The Professor Really Means, by J. Timothy Petersik
                    from the Chronicle of Higher Education
    
    You'll be using one of the leading        I used it as a grad student.
    textbooks in the field.
    
    If you follow these few simple rules,     If you don't need any sleep, you'll
    you'll do fine in the course.             do fine in the course.
    
    The gist of what the author is saying     I don't understand the details
    is what's most  important.                 either
    
    Various authorities agree that...         My hunch is that...
    
    The answer to your question is beyond     I don't know.
    the scope of this class.
    
    You'll have to see me during my office    I don't know.
    hours for a thorough answer to your
    question.
    
    In answer to your question, you must      I really don't know.
    recognize that there are several
    disparate points of view.
    
    Today we are going to discuss a most      Today we are going to discuss my
    important topic.                          dissertation.
    
    Unfortunately, we haven't the time to     I disagree with what roughly half of
    consider all of the people who made       the people in this field have said.
    contributions to this field.
    
    We can continue this discussion outside   1.  I'm tired of this - let's quit.
    of class.                                 2.  You're winning the argument -
                                                  let's quit
    
    Today we'll let a member of the class     I stayed out too late last
    lead the discussion. It will be a good    night and didn't have time to
    educational experience.                    prepare a lecture.
    
    Any questions?                            I'm ready to let you go.
    
    The implications of this study are       I don't know what it means either,
    clear.                                   but there'll be a question about it
                                             on the test.
    
    The test will be 50-questions            The test will be 60-questions
    multiple choice.                         multiple guess, plus three
                                             short-answer questions (1000
                                             words or more, and no one will
                                             score above 55 per cent.
    
    The test scores were generally good.     Some of you managed a C+.
    
    The test scores were a little below      Where was the party last night?
    my expectations.
    
    Some of you could have done better.      Everyone flunked.
    
    Before we begin the lecture for          Has anyone opened the book yet?
    today, are there any questions about
    previous material?
    
    According to my sources...               According to the guy who taught    this
                                             class last year...
    
    It's been very rewarding to teach        I hope they find someone else to
    this class.                              teach it next year.

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