A young teenager comes home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true
what Rita just told me? That babies come out of the same place where boys
put their thingies?"
"Yes, dear," replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come
up and she wouldn't have to explain it.
"But then when I have a baby, won't it knock my teeth out?


There was an Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Newfoundlander sitting in a bar
having a few drinks together.
The Englishman says to the Frenchman, "So tell me, what do you do to drive
your wife wild?"
"Well," says the Frenchman, "After making love, I go out to the garden and
pick some roses. Then I take the petals off and put them all over her body.
Then I gently blow them off with a soft, even breath, and that drives her
wild."
Then the Frenchman says, "And what do you do to drive your wife wild?"
To which the Englishman replies, "After making love, I get some baby oil 
and massage it gently all over her body, and that drives her wild!"
Then the pair turn to the Newfoundlander and ask him what he does.
"Naawww you don't want to know what I do" he says.
So they buy him a few more drinks and he loosens up a bit more, and again,
they ask him what he does.
"Well..," he says, "When me and the old lady are through, I jump out of bed
and wipe my dick off on the curtain. And that REALLY drives her wild."


Jerry is hired to play his trumpet on the score of a movie, and he's
excited. He's especially thrilled because he gets to take two long solos.
After the sessions, which go great, Jerry can't wait to see the finished
product. He asks the producer where and when he can catch the film. A 
little embarrassed, the producer explains that the music is for a porno flick that
will be out in a month, and he tells Jerry where he can go to see it.
A month later, Jerry, with his collar up and wearing glasses, goes to the
theatre where the picture is playing. He walks in and sits way in the back,
next to an elderly couple who also seem to be disguised and hiding out.
The movie starts, and it's the filthiest, most perverse porno flick
ever...... group sex, S&M, golden showers... and then, halfway through, a
dog gets in on the action.
Before anyone can blink an eye, the dog has had sex with all the women in
every orifice, and most of the men.
Embarrassed, Jerry turns to the old couple and whispers, "I'm only here for
the music."
The woman turns to Jerry and whispers, "We're here to see our dog."

Index