On the first day of college, the Dean addresses the students, pointing out
some of the rules.
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too
the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this 
rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the
second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty
fine of $180."
"Are there any questions?"
At this, a male student in the crowd inquires, "How much for a season 
pass?"


The traveller knocked on the door of the house where a cabdriver had told 
him he could be sexually accommodated. An eye-level panel slid open and a 
female voice asked what he wanted.
"I want to get screwed," said the man.
"OK, mister, but this is a private club, so slip twenty bucks as an
initiation fee through the mail slot," answered the voice.
The man did this, the panel was closed, minutes passed. Nothing happened. 
He began to pound on the door insistently, and the panel slid open.
"Hey," exclaimed the sport, "I want to get screwed!"
"What?" said the voice, "Again?"


Jane was a first time contestant on the $65,000 quiz show, where you have 
to answer questions to win the cash prize.
Lady luck had smiled in her favor, as Jane had a gained substantial lead
over her opponents. She even managed to win the game but, unfortunately,
time had run out before the show's host could ask her the big question.
Needless to say, Jane agreed to return the following day. Jane was nervous
and fidgety as her husband drove them home. "I've just gotta win tomorrow. 
I wish I knew what the answers are. You know I'm not going to sleep at all
tonight. I will probably look like garbage tomorrow."
"Relax, honey," her husband, Roger, reassured her. "It will all be OK."
Ten minutes after they arrived home, Roger grabbed the car keys and started
heading out the door.
"Where are you going?" Jane asked.
"I have a little errand to run. I should be back soon" he replied.
Jane waited impatiently for Roger's return. After an agonizing 3 hour
absence, Roger returned, sporting a very wide and wicked grin. "Honey, I
managed to get tomorrow's question and answer!"
"What is it?" she cried excitedly.
"OK. The question is: 'What are the three main parts of the male anatomy?'
And the answer is 'The head, the heart, and the penis.' "
Shortly after that, the couple went to sleep with Jane, now feeling
confident and at ease, plummeting into a deep and restful slumber. At 3:30
in the morning, however, Jane was shaken awake by Roger, who was asking her
the quiz show question. "The head, the heart, and the penis," Jane replied
groggily before returning to sleep. And Roger asked her again in the
morning, this time as Jane was brushing her teeth. Once again, Jane replied
correctly.
So it was that Jane was once again on the set of the quiz show. Even though
she knew the question and answer, she could feel the butterflies conquering
her stomach and nervousness running through her veins. The cameras began
running and the host, after reminding the audience of the previous days
events, faced Jane and asked the big question.
"Jane, for $65,000, what are the main parts of the male anatomy? You have 
10 seconds."
"Hmm, uhm, the head?" she said nervously. "Very good. Six seconds."
"Eh, uh, the heart?" "Very good! Four seconds."
"I, uhh, ooooooohh, darn! My husband drilled it into me last night and I 
had it on the tip of my tongue this morning..."
"That's close enough," said the game show host, "CONGRATULATIONS!!"

A traveller stops in an unfamiliar city at the first tavern that he happens
past. He stops in for a drink and happens to notice that he is the only 
male in the place...
He sees two rather beautiful young women together and decides to send them
both over a drink...
One of the pair comes up to him shortly thereafter and says in a sultry
voice, "Would you like to smell my girlfriend's pussy?"
"Sure!" the man replies.
"Here...." as she blows into his face.

Index