Miss Annabell had just returned from her big trip to New York City and was
having refreshments on the front porch of her daddy's mansion with her
southern belle friends. She tells them the stories of her trip as they 
stare spellbound.
"You just wouldn't believe what they have there in New York City," says 
Miss Annabell. "They have men there who kiss other men on the lips."
Miss Annabell's friends fan themselves and say, "Oh my! Oh my!"
"They call them homosexuals," proclaims Miss Annabell.
"Oh my! Oh my," proclaim the girls as they fan themselves.
"They also have women there in New York City who kiss other women on the
lips!"
"Oh my! Oh my," exclaim the girls. "What do they call them?" they ask.
"They call them lesbians," says Miss Annabell.
"They also have men who kiss women between the legs, there in New York
City," sighs Miss Annabell.
"Oh my! Oh my! Oh my," exclaim the girls as the sit on the edge of their
chairs and fan themselves even faster. "What do they call them?" they ask 
in unison.  Miss Annabell leans forward and says in a hush, "Why when I caught my
breath, I called him Precious."

A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the
clouds. As any of us would do, he climbed the ladder. He reached a cloud,
upon which sat a rather plump and very ugly woman. "Screw me or climb the
ladder to success," she said.
No contest, thought the man, so he climbed the ladder to the next cloud. On
this cloud was a slightly thinner woman, slightly easier on the eye. "Screw
me hard, or climb the ladder to success," she said. "Well," thought the 
man, "might as well carry on."
On the next cloud was an even more attractive lady who, this time, was
actually quite desirable. "Screw me now or climb the ladder to success" she
said. As he turned her down and went on up the ladder, the man thought to
himself that this was getting better the further he went.
On the next cloud was an absolute beauty. Slim, attractive, the lot. "Love
me hard and long or climb the ladder to success" she flirted.
Unable to imagine what could be waiting, and being a gambling man, he
decided to climb again. When he reached the next cloud, there was a 400
pound ugly man, arm pit hair showing, flies buzzing around his head.
"Who are you?" the man asked.
"Hello," the ugly fat man said. "My name's Cess!"

A man has been going out with this chick for 2 years, and he has never
touched her in his life. One night she gets really pissed off with this 
(cos she's a bit of a randy mare at the best of times) and says to him, "Why
haven't you ever shagged me? We've been going out for 2 years now and all
you have done is kissed me and touched my tits!!"
He looks scared and replies, "Well, when I was 6 my mum told me that a
girl's fanny had teeth and would bite my dick off if it came near"
She laughed like a drain and led him into the room, pulled up her skirt and
showed him her eager beaver.
"See", she said, "it doesn't have any teeth!!!"
"Well", he replied, "I'm not fucking surprised with gums like that!"

Index