Roger is buying his cousin's used motorcycle.
He says, "My God, it's so shiny! It's like new! What's your secret?"
His cousin says, "Well, any time it's about to rain, I coat the chrome with
some Vaseline so it won't tarnish. In fact, I won't be needing this any
longer, take my tube."
Roger and his girlfriend are going to her parents' house for dinner for the
first time, so he goes to pick her up on the motorcycle.
As she's getting on the bike behind him, she says, "Listen, I have to tell
you something. My family's a little strange. You can't talk during dinner.
If you talk during dinner, you have to do the dishes."
When they walk into her parents' house, not only in the kitchen, but in the
dining room, the living room, on the stairs, the back porch, everywhere,
there are piles and piles of dirty dishes. They haven't done the dishes in
months.
They sit down to eat, and the whole meal, nobody talks.
It's the end of the meal, Roger is getting a little horny, and he figures
nobody is going to say anything, so he grabs his girlfriend, and pops! her
right there on the dining room table.
Nobody says nothing.
He's still a little horny, and her mother is kind of cute, so he figures,
"What the hell?" He throws her mother up on the table and starts to do her.
He's just about done with her, when he looks out the window and sees it's
starting to rain on his motorcycle. He reaches into his pocket and takes 
out the tube of Vaseline.
Her father jumps up and says, "All right, all right, I'll do the fucking
dishes."

Michael Jackson and his wife are in the recovery room with their new baby
son. The doctor walks in and Michael asks:
"Doctor, how long before we can have sex?"
The doctor replies, "I'd wait until he's at least 14."

A young girl was having a heart-to-heart talk with her mother on her first
visit home since starting university.
"Mum, I have to tell you," the girl confessed. "I lost my virginity last
weekend."
"I'm not surprised," said her mother. "It was bound to happen sooner or
later. I just hope it was a romantic and pleasurable experience."
"Well, yes and no," the pretty student remarked.
"The first eight guys felt great, but after them my pussy got really sore."

Index