Two nuns go on a shopping trip to France, to load up with duty free.
On the way back they are just going to drive through 'Nothing to declare'
but a customs officer waves them in to the side.
The first nun says to the mother superior who is driving, "Don't worry
mother, just show them your cross."
So she winds the window down, leans out and shouts, "Fuck off!"


The confession line was very long and the priest needed to use the bathroom
badly. He called in one of the alter boys and asked him to fill-in for a
minute. The priest gave him a list of sins & penance. Just match them up.
The first women confessed to giving the neighbour a blow job and anal sex.
These weren't on the list, so the alter boy asked another alter boy, "What
does the father give for anal sex and a blow job?"
"He usually gives me a bag of chips and a soda."


The Queen of England and the Pope are guests of honour at the Annual 
England vs Ireland Soccer Match.
Both are getting right into the feel of things and the Queen leans over to
the Pope and says, "I bet I can make all the English People in the crowd
cheer wildly with a simple hand gesture."
The Pope looks at her disbelievingly, so the Queen does her famous wave and
all the English people in the crowd cheer wildly as one.
The Pope leans over and says to the Queen, "That was nothing...I bet I can
make all of the Irish People in the crowd party wildy for a week with just
the nod of my head."
The Queens says, "Well that is totally unbelievable - let's see."
A split second later the Pope Head butts her......


A plane flying over the North Sea is in trouble and likely to ditch. There
are six passengers on board, a Doctor, a Lawyer, a Priest, and three
children. But there are only three life jackets.
The Doctor says, "Save the children!!," waving the life jackets.
Making a grab for the jackets, the Lawyer shouts, "Fuck the children!!" and
the Priest enquires, "Is there time...?"

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