Medical Humour #3
Mr Smith goes downstairs in the morning and his doorman says, "Mr Smith, 
how are you?" Smith says, "I feel great." Doorman says, "But you look 
terrible!"
Smith says, "But I feel great."
When Smith gets to the office, his secretary asks him how he is. He says, 
"I feel great!" She says, "But you look terrible." He says, "But I feel 
great."
Smith goes to lunch with his friend and they have just the same
conversation. His friend insists that he goes to the doctor and so that is
what Mr Smith does.
The doctor asks what the problem is. Smith says, "I feel great but I look
terrible." Dr says, "I don't know that ailment so I'll look in my medical
book." The doctor takes out a huge tome. "Feels great, looks terrible..." 
he says as he turns the pages, "Feels great, looks terrible.... Feels gre...
I've got it!! You're a vagina!"

A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the woman behind the counter, "Is 
there a male pharmacist available?"
"No" she says, "My sister and I own this place and we are both pharmacists.
How can we help you?"
The man steps back, opens his coat revealing this rather large bulge in the
front of his pants and says, "Its been like this for 7 days now, can you
give me anything for it?"
"Hmmm", says the woman, "Let me go consult my sister."
Moments later she returns and says, "OK, we'll give you $400 cash and a 
half interest in the pharmacy."

A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told the physician that her
husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she wasn't sure it was
such a good idea.
The Doctor asked, "Do you enjoy it?"
She said that she did.
He asked, "Does it hurt you?"
She said no.
The Doctor then told her, "Well, then, there's no reason that you shouldn't
practice anal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to
get pregnant."
The woman was mystified. She asked, "You can get pregnant from anal sex?"
The Doctor replied, "Of course. Where do you think lawyers come from?"

A man is urinating one day when the end of his penis drops off.
He thinks, "This is probably not a good thing," so he picks up the knobby
end and sticks it in his pocket, then races off to the doctor. He waits in
the surgery for a bit, then he's called in.
The doctor greets him and asks, "What's the problem?"
"Well, doctor, I was urinating and my knob fell off. Here it is." And he
reaches into his pocket and hands the piece to the doctor.
The doctor looks, frowns, then replies, "What are you talking about? This 
is a marshmallow!"
"Well, that can't be right! I ate my last marshmallow on the way in here!"

A man visits his doctor.
"I think I have a problem, doc," said the patient. "One of my balls has
turned blue."
The doctor examined the man briefly and concluded the patient would die if
they didn't have his testicle removed.
"Are you crazy?!" exclaimed the patient, "How could I let you do such a
thing to me?"
"Do you want to die?", asked the doctor rhetorically, and the patient had 
to
agree to have his testicle removed. But two weeks after the operation, he
came back.
"Doc, I don't know how to say this, but the other ball has turned blue 
too."
Again, the doctor told him that if he wants to live, his other testicle 
must
be cut off too. And again, the man was very reluctant. "Hey, do you want to
die?", asked the doc, and the patient had to agree to the operation.
But, about two weeks after he is testicles, he returned to the doctor. "I
think something is very wrong with me. My penis is now completely blue."
After briefly examining the patient once again, the doc gives him the bad
news. If he wants to live, his penis has to go.
Of course, he did not want to hear about it. "You really want to die?",
asked the doctor.
"But... how do I pee?"
"We'll install an plastic pipe, and there will be no problem."
So, the penis is removed and a while after the operation, the unfortunate
man again returns the doctor's office. He is very angry.
"Doctor, the plastic pipe turned blue."
"What?"
"Can you tell me what a hell is happening?"
So, the doctor examined the patient more carefully this time, and says,
"Hmmm, I think its the jeans......"

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