Medical Humour #2

Son takes his father to the doctor. Doctor gives them the bad news that the
father is dying of cancer. Father tells the son that he has had a good long
life and wants to stop at the bar on the way home to celebrate it.
While at the bar, the father sees several of his friends. He tells them 
that he is dying of AIDS.
When the friends leave the son asks, "Dad, you are dying of cancer. Why did
you tell them that you are dying of AIDS?"
The father replies, "I don't want them fucking your mother after I'm gone!"


A man's wife had been in a coma for several days following a particularly
nasty knock on the head. As usual, one of the nurses in the hospital was
giving her a wash in bed. As she washed down the woman's body, she sponged
her pubic hair. Out of the corner of her eye she thought she had seen the
woman's eyebrows shudder. Not quite sure, she tried again. This time, she
actually did see some movement.
"Doctor, Doctor," she called, "I saw some movement!"
The Doctor came in to the room and tried as well. Once more, they both saw
movement around the woman's eyes.
"Well this is good news," said the Doctor. "I think we should call her
husband and let him know."
Anyway, they called her husband and told him that they had seen some
movement. When he arrived, they explained that by touching her pubic hair,
they were seeing some sort of reaction in her facial muscles. The Doctor
suggested that the husband may like to try something a little more
adventurous in order to provoke a stronger reaction. "I suggest that we
leave the room and that you try a little oral sex," he said.
The husband duly agreed and so he was left alone in the room. Several
moments later, all the emergency alarms and buzzers were activated. The
Doctor and a host of nurses ran in to the wife's room where they saw the
husband zipping up his jeans.
"Oops," he said, "I think I choked her."

Nancy goes to the gynaecologist and he examines her.
He says, "You have acute vaginitis."
She says, "Thank you."

Once upon a time, a woman complained to her doctor that she and her husband
never had sex anymore. So the doctor gave her a bottle of pills and told 
her to put them in his drink and she would be 'satisfied.'
The woman, somewhat disbelievingly, put one pill in his coffee that 
evening.
That night they made out.
The next morning, she put two in his coffee, and that night they really got it on.
The next day, she said, "What the hell," and put the entire bottle in.
A few days later, the doctor called to check on her progress. The woman's
son answered the phone. When the doctor asked how she was doing, the son
replied, "Mom's dead; Sis is pregnant; my asshole hurts, and Dad is out
naked on the front lawn yelling 'Here kitty, kitty.'" 

Index