DARWIN AWARDS 2000 (just released, all New!) awarded every year to the
person(s)
who died (or almost died) in the stupidest way, thus enhancing the gene
pool by their absence.

The 2000 nominees are:
NOMINEE No. 1: [San Jose Mercury News]:
An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former
girlfriend's
windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged,
blowing a hole in his gut.

NOMINEE No. 2: [Kalamazoo Gazette]
James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo, Mich., was killed in March as he
was trying to repair what police describe as a "farm type truck." Burns
got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so
that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise.  Burns' clothes
caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the
drive shaft."

NOMINEE No. 3: [Hickory Daily Record]
Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December
in Newton, N.C.  Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his
bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith Wesson .38
Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.

NOMINEE No. 4: [UPI, Toronto]
Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown
Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged
24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into
the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as
he was explaining the strength of the building's windows to visiting law
students. Hoy previously has conducted demonstration of window strength
according to police reports. Peter Lawyers, managing partner of the firm
Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the
best and brightest" members of the 200-man association.

NOMINEE No. 5: [Bloomsburg News Service]
A terrible diet and room with no ventilation are being blamed for the
death of a man who was killed by his own gas.  There was no mark on his
body but an autopsy showed large amounts of methane gas in his system. His
diet had consisted primarily of beans and cabbage (and a couple of other
things). It was just the right combination of foods. It appears that the
man died in his sleep from breathing the poisonous cloud that was hanging
over his bed. Had he been outside or had his windows been opened, it
wouldn't have been fatal. But the man was shut up in his near airtight bedroom.
According to the article, "He was a big man with a huge capacity for
creating "this deadly gas." Three of the rescuers got sick and one was hospitalized.

NOMINEE No. 6: [The News of the Weird.]
Michael Anderson Godwin made news of the Weird posthumously. He had
spent several years awaiting South Carolina's electric chair on a murder
conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. Whilst
sitting on a metal toilet in his cell and attempting to fix his small
TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.

NOMINEE NO. 7: ["The Indianapolis Star"].
A cigarette lighter may have triggered fatal explosion in Dunkirk,Indiana.
A Jay County man using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of
a muzzle loader was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his
face, sheriff's investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his
parents' rural Dunkirk home about 11:30 pm. Investigators said Pryor was
cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle loader that had not been firing properly. He was using
the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.

NOMINEE No. 8: [Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario]
A man cleaning a bird Feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment
in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. Stefan
Macko, 55, was standing on a wheeled chair when the accident occurred, said
Inspector D'Arcy Honer of the Peel regional police. "It appears the chair
moved and he went over the balcony," Honer said.

NOMINEE No.9: [Arkansas Democrat Gazette]
Two local men were seriously injured when their pick-up truck left the
road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday
morning. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident
shortly  after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc and Billy
Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock are listed in serious condition at Baptist
Medical Center. The accident occurred as the two men were returning to Des Arc
after a frog gigging trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pick-up
truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight
fuse on the older model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not
available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullet from his pistol fit
perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering wheel column. Upon
inserting the bullet, the headlights again began to operate properly
and the two men proceeded on east-bound toward the White River bridge.
After traveling approximately 20 miles and just before crossing the river,
the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the right
testicle. The vehicle swerved sharply to the right exiting the pavement
and striking a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the
accident, but will require surgery to repair the other wound. Wallis
sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and releasd. "Thank God we
weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off or we might both
be dead" stated Wallis. "I've been a trooper for ten years in this part of
the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would
admit how this accident happened," said Snyder. Upon being notified of
the wreck, Lavinia, Poole's wife, asked how many frogs the boys had caught
and did anyone get them from the truck.

 

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