HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN TO BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

*She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

*She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

*She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

*She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION  SUPERHIGHWAY.

*She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

*She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

*She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

*She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

*She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

*She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

*She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

*She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS. She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

*She is not a TWO BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

*He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN  STORAGE
FACILITY.

*He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

*He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE 
DESTINATIONS.

*He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

*He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS.

*He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

*He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.

*He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

*He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL
INVERSION.

 

Index