More Man-Bashing 
     
     What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? 
     Close the door. 
     
     When do you care for a man's company? 
     When he owns it. 
     
     How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom? 
     Three, if you slice them very thinly. 
     
     Why do men get married? 
     So they don't have to hold their stomachs in anymore. 
     
     How do you get a man to do sit-ups? 
     Put the remote control between his toes. 
     
     What did God say after creating man? 
     I must be able to do better than that. 
     
     What did God say after she made Eve? 
     "Practice makes perfect." 
     
     What is the one thing that all men at singles bars 
     have in common? 
     They're married. 
     
     Why do men buy electric lawn mowers? 
     So they can find their way back to the house. 
     
     Why are married women heavier than single women? 
     Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and 
     go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed 
     and go to the fridge. 
     
     Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so 
     beautiful?" 
     God says: "So you would love her." 
     "But God," the man says, "why did you make her so 
     dumb?" 
     God says: "So she would love you." 

 

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