"Imported From Bosnia"

Coach Bobby Ross had put together the perfect Lions team. The only
thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the
colleges, and even the high schools, but he couldn't find a ringer
quarterback who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in
Bosnia. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Bosnian
soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight
into a 15th-story window 200 yards away -- ka-boom! He threw another
hand grenade into a group of 10 soldiers 100 yards away -- ka-blooey!
Then a car passed, going 90 mph -- bulls-eye!

"I've got to get this guy!" Ross said to himself. "He has the perfect
arm!"

So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of
football, and the Lions go on to win the Super Bowl for the first
time in history.

The young Bosnian is lionized as the Great Hero of football, and when
Ross asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is to call
his mother. "Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super
Bowl."

"I don't want to talk to you," the old woman says. "You deserted us.
You are not my son."

"I don't think you understand, Mother!" the young man pleads. "I just
won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among
thousands of my adoring fans."

"No, let me tell you," the mother retorts. "At this very moment,
there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of
rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives
last week, and this week your sister was raped in broad daylight."

The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says:

"...I'll never forgive you for making us move to Detroit."


 

Index