A man came home from a poker game late one night and found
his hideous harpy of a wife waiting for him with a rolling pin.

"Where the hell have you been?" she asked.

"You'll have to pack all your things, dear," he said. "I've
just lost you in a card game."

"How did you manage to do that, genius?" she asked
sarcastically.

"It wasn't easy, honest," he told her. "I had to fold with
a royal flush."

------------------------------------------------------------

O'Casey had dated many a lass, but he finally became entranced
with Maureen O'Riley. He wooed her and pursued her, but she
would not give in and go to bed with him. Finally he proposed
marriage and she accepted.

On their wedding night, as they undressed in their honeymoon
cottage, O'Casey said, "You know, Maureen, I never would have
wed you if you had gone to bed with me like all the other girls
did."

"Experience is the best teacher," Maureen said. "That's how I
lost all of my other suitors."


------------------------------------------------------------

It was a hot day in Minnesota. Helga hung the wash out to
dry, put a roast in the oven, then went downstairs to pick
up some dry cleaning. "Gootness, it's hot," she mused to
herself as she walked down Main street.
She passed by a tavern and thought, "Vy nodt?" so she
walked in and took a seat at the bar. The bartender came up
and asked her what she would like to drink.
"Ya know," Helga said, "it is so hot I tink I'll have
myself zee cold beer."
The bartender asked, "Anheuser Busch?"
Helga blushed and replied "Vell fine, tanks, und how's
yer pecker?"
 

Index