What's the difference between a penis and a prick?
A penis is fun, sexy and satisfying.....
A prick is the guy who owns it.
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Behind every great man is a great woman...
and behind every great woman is some guy
staring at her butt!
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Men have two emotions:
Hungry and Horny.
If you see him without a boner, make him a
sandwich
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Did you hear that Viagra now comes in a
nasal spray?
It's for Dickheads!
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Why do men always pay more for car
insurance?
Women don't get blow jobs while they're
behind the wheel.
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A friend of mine used alcohol as a
substitute for women.
You know what happened?
He got his penis stuck in the neck of the
bottle!
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Men are like bagpipes...
You won't get anything unless you blow them
first.
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If Eve wore a fig leaf, what did Adam wear?
A hole in it.
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Why don't men wear tight underwear?
It cuts off circulation to the brain!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
What's the definition of a bastard?
A man who bonks you all night with a 2 inch
penis, then kisses you
goodbye with a 12 inch tongue.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
MORE MALE BASHING .....
1. What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.
2. What does it mean when a man is in your
bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
3. Why do only 10% of men make it to
heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
4. Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract!
5. How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, they emit
noxious odors, and half the time
they don't work.
6. How do men define a "50/50"
relationship?
We cook-they eat, we clean-they dirty, we
iron-they wrinkle.
7. How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they
see a bikini.
8. Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for
men than for women?
When it's time to go back to his childhood,
he's already there.
9. How does a man show he's planning for the
future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
10. How many men does it take to screw in a
light bulb?
ONE....He just holds it up there and waits
for the world to revolve around him.
11. What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.
12. What's a man's idea of honesty in a
relationship?
Telling you his real name.
13. What's the best way to force a man to
do sit ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.
14. What's the smartest thing a man can
say?
"My wife says...."
15. Why are all dumb blonde jokes one
liners?
So men can understand them.
16. Why did God create man before woman?
Because you're always supposed to have a
rough draft before creating your masterpiece.
17. Why do female black widow spiders kill
the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
18. Why do jocks play on artificial turf?
To keep them from grazing.
19. Why do men need instant replay on TV
sports?
Because after 30 seconds they forget what
happened.
20. Why does it take 100 million sperm to
fertilize one egg?
Because not one will stop and ask for
directions.
Index