Margaret went to her new gynaecologist for her first exam.
      The doctor got her in the stirrups and spread her legs.Then
      the doctor said,"Omigosh!!! In my all of my career, I have never seen such a
      huge vagina!!
      ...huge vagina!!"
          
      She said, "Doctor, I know it and I'm very self-conscious
      about it. You didn't have to repeat yourself."
          
      The doctor replied, "I didn't. It was an echo!"
          
      ----------------
          
      A kid comes home from school and says to his mom, "Mom I've
      got a problem."
          
      She says, "Tell me." He tells her that the boys at school are
      using two words he doesn't understand. She asks him what are they. He
      says, "Well, pussy and bitch."
          
      She says, "Oh that's no big deal, pussy is a cat like our
      little Muffin and bitch is a female dog like our Fifi." He thanks her and goes
      to visit dad in his workshop down the basement.
          
      He says to his dad, "Dad the boys at school are using words 
      I don't know. I asked mom and I don't think she told me the exact meaning."
          
      Dad says, "Son, I told you never to go to mom with these
      matters, she can't handle them. What are the words?" He tells him...pussy and
      bitch.
          
      Dad says, "OK," and pulls a Playboy down from the shelf,
      takes a marker and circles the pubic area of the centerfold and says, "Son,
      everything inside this circle, is pussy."
          
      "OK, dad, so what's a bitch?"
          
      "Son," he says with a sigh, "everything outside that circle."

          
          -----------------------------------------------
          
         It's a beautiful, warm spring morning and a man and his wife are
         spending the day at the zoo. She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, 
         pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps. He's wearing his normal jeans and a
         T-shirt. The zoo is not very busy this morning. As they walk through the ape
         exhibit, they pass in front of a very large hairy gorilla. Noticing the
         girl, the gorilla goes ape (No pun intended). He jumps up on the bars, and
         holding on with one hand (and 2 feet), he grunts and pounds his chest with his
         free hand. He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress. The
         husband, noticing the excitement, thinks this is funny. He suggests
         that his wife teases the poor fellow some more. The husband suggests she
         pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom at him, and play along. She does, and Mr.
         Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.
         Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall to show a 
         little more skin.
         She does, and Mr. Gorilla is about to tear the bars down. "Now try
         lifting your dress up your thighs and sort of fan it at him." he says....
         this drives the gorilla absolutely crazy and now he's doing flips. Then the
         husband grabs his wife by the hair, rips open the door to the cage, flings
         her in with the
         gorilla and slams the cage door shut. "Now, tell HIM you have a
         headache."
          
           ---------------------
          
         Two drunks were in a tavern sitting at the bar and staring into
         their drinks.
          
         One got a curious look on his face and asked, "Hey, Pete! 
         You ever seen an ice cube with a hole in it before?"
          
         Pete replied "Yep. I was married to one for fifteen years."
 

Index