What People Around The World Learn About Americans By Watching
 "Baywatch"
 
 1. American men and women spend 15 percent of their days running
 in slow motion along the beach.
 
 2. Americans almost drown an average of two times each hour.
 
 3. Despite the habit of breathing water, CPR always works and no
 one actually dies, except from cancer.
 
 4. People in the U.S. look thoughtfully at the ocean for an
 average of 15 seconds after being told anything of any
 importance.
 
 5. Americans never worry about getting enough to eat, but fat
 people are unreliable and sometimes evil.
 
 6. Most American women have abnormally large breasts that are
 worshipped via close-ups for an average of two minutes and
 thirteen seconds per hour.
 
 7. When swimming in California, you are more likely to be
 attacked by jewel thieves or taken hostage by terrorists than you
 are to drown.
 
 8. Most activity that takes place off the beach occurs in
 montages and lasts no longer than two minutes.
 
 9. Although Americans, especially lifeguards, complain that they
 are poor, they all have expensive sports cars and luxurious
 homes.
 
 10. Motorboats, unlike cars, will not talk back to David
 Hasselhoff.
 

Index