Q. Why do men take showers instead of baths?
A. Pissing in the bath is disgusting.
Q. What's the difference between acne and a
Michael Jackson?
A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face
until he's atleast 13 years old.
Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry it.
Q. What do you get when you cross two black people?
A. Your ass kicked.
Q. What is the difference between a drug
dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it
again.
Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
A. Because women don't get blow jobs while
they're driving.
Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise
& semen?
A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a
girl's throat at thirty miles an
hour.
Q. What do you call a Serbian prostitute?
A. Sloberdown Mycockyoubitch.
Q. Why do women call it PMS?
A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing
off a cliff in your new car.
Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
Q. How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A. The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic
bachelor party?
A. The cake jumps out of the girl.
Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?
A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes
your hole weak.
Q. How is pubic hair like parsley?
A. You push it to the side before you start eating.
Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
A. You know she'll swallow.
Q. Why don't they teach driver's education
and sex education on the same day in Iraq?
A. They don't want to wear out the camel.
Q. What's the difference between a Catholic
wife and a Jewish wife?
A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot
and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
Q. How do the little boys at Michael
Jackson's ranch know when it is
bedtime?
A. When the big hand touches the little hand...
Q. How can you tell the porno star at the gas
station?
A. Just as the gas starts up the hose, he
pulls out the nozzle and
sprays the gas all over the car.
Q. How do you know when it's time to wash
dishes and clean the house?
A. Look inside your pants; if you have a
penis, it's not time.
Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice
safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the
animals that kick.
Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it.
Index