Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their Manchester United
        Treble commerrative stamps. People couldn't figure out which
        side to spit on.
       
        Q: What do Manchester United Fans and sperm have in common?
        A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
       
        Q: What do you have when 100 Manchester United Fans are buried
        up to their necks in sand?
        A: Not enough sand.
       
        Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead
        Manchester United Fan in the road?
        A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
       
        Q: What do Manchester United Fans use for birth control?
        A: Their personalities.
       
        Q: You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and a
        Manchester United Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
        A: Shoot the United Fan. Twice.
       
        A man meets a friend and sees that his friend's car is a total write-off
        and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He
        asks his friend,
        "What's happened to your car?" "Well," the friend replies, "I
        ran over David Beckham". "OK," says the man, "that explains the blood... But
        what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt?"
        "Well, he tried to escape through the park."
       
        Money saving tip for Man Utd fans - rather than waste more money on yet
        another replica kit, simply strap a large rubber dildo to your
        head, It'll be perfectly obvious to everyone who you support.
       
        Q: How many Man Utd players does it take to change a lightbulb?

        A: Seven, one to change it, five to moan about it and Ferguson
        to say if the ref had done his job in the first place the light bulb would
        never have gone out!
       
        Four surgeons are taking a coffee break:
        1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because
        when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
        2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything
        inside them is in alphabetical order."
        3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them
        is colour coded."
        4th surgeon says "I prefer Man U fans. They're heartless,
        spineless, gutless and their heads and arses are interchangeable.   

Index