Aer Lingus Flight 101 was flying from Heathrow to Dublin one night,
   with Paddy the Pilot, and Seamus the co-pilot. As they approached
   Dublin airport, they looked out the front window.
   "B'jeesus" said Paddy "Will you look at how fookin short that runway is".
   "Ya not fookin kiddin, Paddy" replied Seamus.
   "Tis is gonna be one a' the trickiest landings you are ever gonna see"
   said Paddy.
   "Ya not fookin kiddin, Paddy" replied Gerry.
   "Roit Gerry.  When I give the signal, you put ta engines in reverse"
   said Paddy
   "Roit, I'll be doing that" replied Seamus.
   "And then you put the flaps down straight away" said Paddy
   "Roit, I'll be doing that" replied Seamus.
   "And ten you stamp on them brakes as hard as you can" said Paddy
   "Roit, I'll be doing tat" replied Seamus.
   "And ten you pray to ta Mother Mary with all a' your soul" said Paddy
   "Roit, I'll be doing tat" replied Seamus.
   So they approached the runway with Paddy and Seamus full of nerves and
   sweaty palms.  As soon as the wheels hit the ground, Seamus put the
   engines in reverse, put the flaps down, stamped on the brakes and
   prayed to Mother Mary with all of his soul. Amidst roaring engines, squealing
   of tyres and  lots of smoke, the plane screeched to a halt centimetres
   from the end of the runway, much to the relief of Paddy and Seamus and
   everyone on board. As they sat in the cockpit regaining their composure, Paddy
   looked out  the front window and said to Seamus
   "Tat has gotta be the shortest fookin runway I have EVER seen in my
   whole life".
 
   Seamus looked out the side window and replied "Yeah Paddy, and the
   fookin widest too".
 

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