GCSE exam clangers.  They are all true (God help us.)  The spellings are as
written:-

Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they wrote in hydraulics.  The
climate of the Sarah is such the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

The Bible is full of interesting caricatures.  In the first book - Guinessis -
Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.  One of their children, Cain,
asked "Am I my brother's son?"

Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread
which is bread made without ant ingredients.  Moses went up on Mount Cyanide
to get the ten commandments.  He died before he ever reached Canada.

The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have
history.  The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice.
They killed him.  Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.  After his death,
his career suffered a dramatic decline.

In the Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits and threw
the java.

Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul.  The Ides of
March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king.  Dying,
he gasped out "Tee Hee, Brutus."

Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was cannonized by Bernard Shaw.  Finally
Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offence.

In midevil times most people were alliterate.  The greatest writer of the
futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems, verses and literature.

Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen."  When she exposed herself before her
troops they shouted "Hurrah."

Sir Waloter Raleigh is a historical figure.  He invented cigarettes and
started smoking.  Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100ft
clipper.

The greatest writer was William Shakespeare.  He was born in the year 1564,
supposedly on his birthday.  He wrote tregedies, comedies and hysterectomies,
all in Islamic pentameter.  Romeo and Juliet are an example of a herioc
couplet.  Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.

Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes.  He wrote Donkey
Hote.  John Milton wrote Paradise Lost.  Then his wife died and he wrote
Paradise Regained.

Gravity was invented by Isaac Walton.  It is chiefly noticable in the autumn
when apples are falling off the trees.

Johaan Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of
children.  In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept in his
attic.

Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf.  He was so deaf he wrote loud
music.

The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the
East and the sun sets in the West.

Queen Victoria was the longest Queen.  She sat on a thorn for 63 years.  She
was a moral woman who practiced virtue.  Her death was the final event which
ended her reign.

Abraham Lincoln's mother died in infancy and he was born in a log cabin which
he built with his own hands.

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