IF IT REALLY WERE A MAN'S WORLD   
 1.   	Breaking up would be a lot easier.   A smack on the arse and a
        "Thanks for the sex - now  f**k off", would pretty much do it. 
 2.   	Birth control would come in beer.   
 3.   	Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29, so it would only
        occur in leap years.    
 4.   	On Mothers Day, you'd get the day off to go drinking.   
 5.   	Instead of "beer-belly", you'd get "beer-biceps".   
 6.   	Tanks would be far easier to rent.   
 7.   	Every woman that worked would have to do so topless.   
 8.   	Every man would get four, real "get out of Jail free" cards per year.
 9.   	Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.   
 10.  	When your wife / girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the
        game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen and only
        when the ball goes out of play.   
 11.  	Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an acceptable
        response to, "I love you."   
 12.  	The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.   
 13.  	"Sorry, but I got wasted last night", would be an acceptable excuse
        for absence and/or poor time keeping.   
 14.  	Lifesavers could remove "bush pigs" from beaches for violating the
        "public ugliness" ordinance.   
 15.  	Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.   
 16.  	Beer would have the same effect as Viagra.   
 17.  	"Fancy a root" would be the only chat up line in existence and it
         would work every time.   
 18.  	Everyone would drive at least 100 kph and anyone driving under that
        would be fined. 
 19.  	Lunch break would happen every hour and the boss would hire in
        strippers and £2000 a night call girls for the duration of those breaks.   
 20.  	Saying "Lets have a threesome. You, me and your sister", to your
        wife/girlfriend would get the response, "What a great idea!!" 
 21.  	Harrier jump jets would take you to and from work. 
 22.  	Everyone would have a real 'Light Sabre' and any disagreements would
        be settled by a fight to the death.   
 23.  	Vomiting after 20 beers would actually make you more attractive to
        the opposite sex.   
 24. 	When it was time to leave work, a whistle would sound and you'd get
        to slide down the back of a Brontosaurus like Fred Flintstone.

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