Medieval Chastity Belt
 
  King Arthur was in Merlin's laboratory where the great wizard was 
  showing him his latest creation. It was a chastity belt, except it had a rather
  large hole in the most obvious place which made it basically useless.  "This is no
  good, Merlin!" the King exclaimed, "Look at this opening. How is this supposed
  to protect my lady, the Queen, when I'm on a long quest?"
 
  "Ah, sire, just observe," said Merlin. He then selected his most worn 
  out wand, one that he was going to discard anyway. He inserted it in the gaping
  aperture of the chastity belt whereupon a small guillotine blade came down and 
  cut it neatly in two.  "Merlin, you are a genius!" said the grateful monarch.
  "Now I can leave, knowing that my Queen is fully protected."  After putting
  Guinevere in the device, King Arthur then set out upon a lengthy Quest.
 
  Several years passed until he returned to Camelot.  Immediately he
  assembled all of his knights in the courtyard and had them drop their trousers for
  an informal 'short arm' inspection. Sure enough, each and every one of them was
  either amputated or damaged in some way. All of them, except Sir Galahad.
 
  "Sir Galahad," exclaimed King Arthur. "You are my one and only true knight!
  Only you among all the nobles have been true to me. What is it in my power
  to grant you? Name it and it is yours."
 
  But, alas, Sir Galahad was speechless.

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