Your ass is never a factor in a job interview
Your orgasms are always real
Your last name stays put
The garage is all yours
Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow
Wedding plans take care of themselves
You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every night
Chocolate is just another snack
You can be president
You can wear a white shirt to a water park
Foreplay is optional
You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid
Car mechanics tell you the truth
You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut
The world is your urinal
Hot wax never comes near your pubic area
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky
You don't have to schedule sex, vacations, wearing that new outfit,
etc. around your reproductive system
Same work more pay
Wrinkles add character
You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments
Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100
If you retain water, it's in a canteen
People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them
Princess Di's death was just another obituary
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet
Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
Going shirtless in public is perfectly acceptable
No pantyhose
One mood, all the time ... horny

 

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