Men are like.....Floor tiles. Lay them right the first time and you can
   walk on them for a lifetime.
   
   Men are like.....Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are.
   
   Men are like.....Placemats. They only show up when there's food on 
   the table.
   
   Men are like.....Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
   
   Men are like.....Bike helmets. Handy in an emergency, but otherwise
   they just look silly.
   
   Men are like.....Government bonds. They take so long to mature.
   
   Men are like.....Parking spots. The good ones are taken and the rest
   are too small.
   
   Men are like.....Copiers. You need them for reproduction, but that's
   about it.
   
   Men are like.....Lava lamps. Fun to look at, but not all that bright.
   
   Men are like.....Bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't
   generate much interest.
   
   Men are like.....High heels. They're easy to walk on once you get the
   hang of it.
   
   Men are like.....Curling irons. They're always hot, and they're 
   always in your hair.
   
   Men are like.....Mini skirts. If you're not careful, they'll creep up
   your legs.
   
   Single women complain that all good men are married; While all married
   women complain about their lousy husbands. This confirms that there 
   is no such thing as a good man.
   
   How are men like noodles? They're always in hot water, they lack
   taste, and they need dough.
   
   Why do men like BMWs? They can spell it.
   
   What do an anniversary and a toilet have in common? Men always miss
   them.
   
   Why are men like popcorn? They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
   
   Man to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
   God to Man: "So you would love her."
   "But God", Man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
   God replies: "So she would love you."
   
   Diamonds are a girl's best friends. Dogs are man's best friends. So
   which is the dumber sex?
   
   Ever notice how many of women's problems can be traced to the male
   gender?
  
   MENstruation, MENopause, MENtal breakdown, GUYnecology, HIMmorrhoid

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