A 16 year old Stephen Barton, a pupil at one of England's leading fee
  paying schools, returned from school for his Christmas holidays in what
  appeared to be some measure of discomfort.
 
  When quizzed by his mother, he said that he had received
  a "low blow" during a game of rugby and was sure that the
  passage of time would heal all ills.
 
  Unfortunately this proved not to be the case and on his third day
  home he was unable to walk. His mother insisted he visit the
  family doctor, a demand to which the incapacitated Stephen succumbed.
 
  On arrival at the surgery Stephen carefully removed his
  underwear to reveal that his scrotum was swollen to nearly four times 
  it's natural size and was bruised almost entirely black with a number of 
  small puncture wounds to the right hand side showing clear signs of 
  established infection.
 
  The doctor, realising that he was not personally equipped as a GP to
  properly treat such a "sporting" injury, immediately called an
  ambulance to take his patient to hospital. Stephen was rushed into
  hospital where he immediately underwent surgery to properly investigate
  and remedy the injury.
 
  The infection was advanced and Stephen ended up having his right
  testicle removed as the infection appeared to have spread into the 
  gland.
  To his surprise, the surgeon removed what were later identified as "a
  large number of brown glass splinters" from the boy's scrotum and the highly
  infected (and now ex)testicle. It was the surgeon's opinion that these 
  had been "introduced" to Stephen's nether regions at the time of the injury.
 
  Realising that this was not as it had first appeared, Stephen's mother
  asked what kind of assault he had been a victim of with the intention of
  taking serious issue with his not inexpensive school as to how such an
  accident could occur.
 
  In an effort not to make a fuss Stephen admitted to the
  following episode: At an unofficial end of term Christmas party after
  lights out, Stephen had drunkenly accepted a bet with the boys in his 
  dorm that he could not fit both his testicles into a medium sized Marmite 
  jar.
 
  With drunken confidence, and in order to win a large sum of money from 
  his fellow students, Stephen did indeed manage to perform the trick. 
  However, such is the shape of a Marmite pot that Stephen was not able to remove
  them from it after winning his money. Much to the enjoyment of the rest 
  of the party-goers he crept off to the bathroom to try to remove the pot.
 
  Having been unable to remove the pot for two days and in extreme
  discomfort with his testicles swelling, Stephen took drastic measures 
  and went to the empty CDT room and with a hammer smashed the pot. Yes that's right, he
  smashed a glass pot from around his testicles with a hammer!
  Unsurprisingly, this was not a clinical operation and also where the
  damage was really done. As they say
 
  - Marmite, you either love it or you hate it

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