Take a deep empathetic breath before you commence .....  Is there such a
thing as safe sex?? Here's a late entry for the Darwin Awards - an award
generally given out posthumously for the most stupid way to die - if 
there is such a thing.

A pre-med student from the University of Arizona was looking to score 
big with his date on a Friday night. Determined to put the girl in the mood,
he drove her up to a spot on Mount Lemmon which overlooked the city of
Tucson.

They walked to an open knoll where they could see the city lights.
Overcome by the romantic locale, she succumbed to his pleas and they stripped 
down, made a bed of their clothes, and passionately began making love. The 
heavy storm clouds rolling overhead and the low rumble of thunder inside them
excited the lovers even more. At the first few flashes of lightning, 
they never looked up to see the charred remains of once great trees.

Their idyllic clearing was a hotbed of electrical activity during the 
warm desert nights. With a blinding light, a bolt of lightning struck the 
high point on  the knoll, which happened to be the pre-med student's ass, and
sought the path of least resistance --- straight down!

Incredibly, he survived, but was in excruciating pain. The heat of the
lightning had fused together flesh and latex so that the lovers were now
stuck together like a pair of dogs. The girl, unfortunately, did NOT
survive the lightning strike! When the student looked down into the vacant eyes 
of his girlfriend and realised she was dead, his immediate repulsion caused
him to jerk away from her, which of course, he couldn't! A wave of pain
and nausea made him vomit into the girl's face and open mouth!
Heaving only caused more pain and repeated vomiting until he finally
passed out.

Attracted by the smell of "food," a bear found its way to the Siamese
lovers and began to lick semi-digested pizza and buffalo wings from the dead
girl's face. The student came to, but when he saw the bear, there was
little he could do but lay there silently in fear. To his horror, the bear became
dissatisfied with just a lick and started to eat the girl, loudly
crunching her facial bones only inches from his ear.  The bear also 
tasted the student, scraping the back of his skull with its teeth, before 
moving on.

Around mid-morning a group of junior girl scouts, up for a fun weekend
camp-out, arrived at the campsite where the pre-med student's car was
parked.  It was only a matter of minutes before three screaming girls discovered
the student, who had regained consciousness several times in the night and 
had managed to drag himself and the partially-eaten girl about 20-feet.

Doctors managed to "successfully" separate the student from the corpse,
but Mr. Happy looked like a small piece of cauliflower in its flaccid
state.
The first hint of arousal resulted in so much pain, that the student was
unable---and unwilling---to achieve an erection. Future surgeries
may produce a reasonably functioning penis, but the student's family
jewels,referred to by the doctors as the "scrotum mass," are irreparable.

Although  most Darwin Awards are supposed to be won posthumously, we 
think this guy deserves consideration since he successfully removed himself 
from the gene pool.

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