David Beckham wakes up one morning, showers and puts on his best
tracksuit ready for another hard days work of being an overprivileged 
little sh1t.  Catching sight of himself in the mirror he thinks "By god, Dave,
you're looking good this morning". He admires the fine cut of his outfit 
and the neat trim of his beard, and flexes his biceps. "Feeling good, too" he
notes proudly at the firm swell of muscle underneath the "Red Shiite's kit
he was wearing. He enters the kitchen downstairs and Posh hands him a bowl of
Cornflakes.  "You're looking fit this morning, Dave".  "To be sure" says 
the thick pill0ck appreciatively. "I feel good as well".  "But you're not
smelling so good, mind" comments his beloved.  Dave takes a sniff. "You're right
there" he says worriedly "I am smelling a bit rough".  He eats his cereal, downs
his coffee, and sets off for Old Trafford.  "Good morning to you, sweetie" he grins at
Alex Ferguson.
"It's a fine morning Dave " says Alex "and you're looking really good".
"Why thank you. I look good, and I feel pretty good as well" says Dave flexing both
arms for his benefit.
"Oh Dave!" winces Alex in disgust "you smell awful!".  Worried, Dave visits
his doctor. 
"Doc, I've got a problem. I look good, I feel great, but I smell
awful".
The doc reaches down his medical dictionary. " you look good......" ...he scans 
down the page..."
you feel great....but.....smell awful.

Hmmm yes... It's quite simple, Dave" the doctor says..... "You're a c*nt".

Index