THE GIRL'S PRAYER
  
   Our Cash
  
   Which art on plastic
   Hallowed be thy name
   Thy Cartier watch
   Thy Prada bag
   In Harrods
   As it is in Selfridges
   Give us each day our Platinum Visa
   And forgive us our overdraft
   As we forgive those who stop our MasterCard
   And lead us not into Next
   And deliver us from Benneton
   For thine is the Cartier, the Dior and the Armani
   For Chanel No. 5 and Eternity
  
   Amex !
  
  
  
   THE BOY'S PRAYER
  
   Our beer
   Which art in bottles
   Hallowed be thy sport
   Thy will be drunk
   I will be drunk
   At home as it is in the pub
   Give us each day our daily beverage
   And forgive us our spillage
   As we forgive those who spillest against us
   And lead us not into poofy wine tasting
   And deliver us from Tequila
   For mine is the bitter
   The totty and the footy
   Forever and ever
  
   Barmen !

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