A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed  ball right in the
crotch.
Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground.
As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. He said
"How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancee
is still a virgin in every way."
The doctor told him, "I'll have to put your penis in a splint to
let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week."
So he took Four tongue depressors and formed a  neat little 4-sided
bandage,and wired it all together; an impressive work of art. The
guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries and goes on their
honeymoon. That night in the motel room she rips open her blouse to
reveal a gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he saw
them.
She said, "You're the first, no one has ever touched these
breasts."
He drops his pants and says, "Look at this, it's still in the
CRATE"

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