Two married blokes are out drinking one night when one   turns to the
other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to   do. Whenever I
go home after we've been out drinking I turn the headlights off before I
get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast   into the garage. I
take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get
undressed in the bathroom, I ease into bed and   my wife STILL wakes
up and says "AND WHAT TIME TO DO YOU CALL THIS?"
  
His mate looks at him and says, "Well, you're   obviously taking the
wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam   the door, storm up the
steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into   bed, rub my hands
on my wife's butt and say, 'How about a blow job?'
.......and she's always sound asleep"

Index