A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the
   undertaker calls her and says, "Your husband still has a hard-on,
   what shall I do with it?"
   The wife replies, "Cut it off and shove it up his arse]"
   The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of  the funeral the
   wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down
   his face, so she whispers in his ear, "It fucking hurts doesn't it]"

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