The Pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an
 early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired straight
 away, his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured
 in a straight line between any two points on the general's body, with
 the general getting to select any pair of points that he wished.
 The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He asked the pension
 man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Six
 feet. He walked out with a cheque for $720,000.
 The second man, an Army general, asked them to measure from the tip
 of his outstretched hands to his toes. Eight feet. He walked out with
 a cheque for $960,000.

 The third general, when asked where to measure, told the pension man:
 "From the tip of my penis to the bottom of my testicles."
 The pension man suggested that perhaps the Marine general might like
 to reconsider, pointing out the nice cheques the previous two
 generals had just received. The Marine insisted and the pension expert
 said that would be fine but that he'd better get the medical officer to
 do the measuring. The medical officer attended and asked the general to
 drop 'em. He did. The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of the
 general's penis and began to work back. "My God!" he said. "Where are
 your testicles?" The general replied, "In Vietnam."

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