Memorandum:
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals 
throughout the company have been using foul language during the course 
of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received 
from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will 
no longer be tolerated. We do, however, realise the critical importance of 
being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with 
co-workers, therefore, a list of preferred new phrases has been provided 
so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an 
effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees. 

PREFERRED: Perhaps I can work late. 
OLD: When the fuck do you expect me to do this? 

PREFERRED: I'm certain that is not feasible. 
OLD: No fucking way. 

PREFERRED: Really? 
OLD: You've got to be shitting me. 

PREFERRED: Perhaps you should check with ... 
OLD: Tell someone who gives a shit. 

PREFERRED: Of course I'm concerned. 
OLD: Ask me if I give a shit. 

PREFERRED: I wasn't involved in that project. 
OLD: Its not my fucking problem. 

PREFERRED: That's interesting behaviour. 
OLD: What the fuck?! 

PREFERRED: I'm not sure I can implement this. 
OLD: Fuck it, it won't work. 

PREFERRED: I'll try to schedule that. 
OLD: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner. 

PREFERRED: Are you sure this is a problem. 
OLD: Who the fuck cares. 

PREFERRED: He's not familiar with the problem. 
OLD: He's got his head up his ass. 

PREFERRED: Excuse me sir? 
OLD: Eat shit and die motherfucker. 

PREFERRED: So you weren't happy with it? 
OLD: Kiss my ass! 

PREFERRED: I'm a bit overloaded at this moment. 
OLD: Fuck it, I'm on salary. 

PREFERRED: I don't think you understand. 
OLD: Shove it up your ass. 

PREFERRED: I love a challenge. 
OLD: This job sucks. 

PREFERRED: You want me to take care of that? 
OLD: Who the hell died and made you boss. 

PREFERRED: I see. 
OLD: Blow me. 

PREFERRED: Yes, we really should discuss it. 
OLD: Another fucking meeting! 

PREFERRED: I don't think this will be a problem. 
OLD: I really don't give a shit. 

PREFERRED: He's somewhat insensitive. 
OLD: He's a fucking prick. 

PREFERRED: She's an aggressive go getter 
OLD: She's a ball busting bitch. 

PREFERRED: I think you could use more training 
OLD: You don't know what the fuck you're doing.

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