Three really old geezers were sitting on the front porch of a
retirement home late one afternoon taking turns complaining.

One says, "The best thing that could happen to me would be if someone
could invent something other than a catheter to help me pee. It would
be wonderful if I could just pee without having to use one of those
things."

The second says, "The best thing that could happen to me would be if
someone could invent something other than a strong laxative to help
me with a bowel movement. It would be wonderful if someone could find
a way to help me with my bowel movements without having to use a
laxative."

The third says, "Hmmph. I have a really good piss every morning at 6
and a really good dump every morning at 6:30."

One of the others says, "So what are you complaining about?"

"Well, the best thing that could happen to me would be if someone
could find a way to wake me up and get me out of bed before 7!"

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