If AOL built cars:
       1. The AOL car would have a TOP speed of 40 MPH yet have a
       200 MPH speedometer.
       2. The AOL car would come equipped with a NEW and fantastic
       8-Track tape player.
       3. The car would often refuse to start and owners would
       just expect this and try again later.
       4. The windshield would have an extra dark tint to protect
       the driver from seeing better cars.
       5. AOL would sell the same model car year after year and
       claim it's the NEW model.
       6. Every now and then the brakes on the AOL car would just
       "lock-up" for no apparent reason.
       7. The AOL car would have a very plain body style but would
       have lots' of pretty colors and lights.
       8. The AOL car would have only one door but it would have 5
       extra seats for family members.
       9. Anyone dissatisfied could return the car but must
       continue to make payments for 6 months.
       10. If an AOL car owner received 3 parking tickets AOL
       would take the car off of them.
       11. The AOL car would have an AOL Cell phone that can only
       place calls to other AOL car cell phones.
       12. AOL would pass a new car law forbidding AOL car owners
       from driving near other car dealerships.
       13. AOL car mechanics would have no experience in car
       repair.
       14. Younger AOL car drivers would be able to make other
       peoples AOL cars stall just for fun.
       15. It would not be possible to upgrade your AOL car
       stereo.
       16. AOL cars would be forced to use AOL gas that cost 20%
       more and gave worse mileage.
       17. Anytime an AOL car owner saw another AOL car owner he
       would wonder, M/F/age?
       18. It would be common for AOL car owners to divorce just
       to marry another AOL car owner.
       19. AOL car owners would always claim to be older or
       younger than they really are.
       20. AOL cars would come with a steering wheel and AOL would
       claim no other cars have them.
       21. Every time you close the door on the AOL car it would
       say, "Good-Bye."

 

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