One day, a man complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I
 should see a doctor." His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer
 at the chemist that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a
 doctor.
 Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your
 problem and tell you what you can do about it. And it only costs £10.00."
 He figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine
 sample and went to the chemist.
 
 Finding the computer, he poured in his sample and deposited the £10.00.
 The computer started making some noise and various lights started
 flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper, which
 read: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
 labour. It will be better in two weeks. That evening while thinking how
 amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science
 forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled. He decided
 to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from
 his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he
 masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the chemist located the
 computer, poured in the sample and deposited the £10.00.
 The machine again made the usual noises, flashed lights, and printed out
 the following analysis:
 
 Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
 Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
 Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
 Your wife is pregnant.........twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a
 lawyer.
 And... if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
 better.

 

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