Two French Legionnaires have been separated from their unit
and are lost in the desert.  They've been wandering for
several days without food and water, and are nearly resigned
to the fact that they will soon die from dehydration.  As
they reach the top of a yet another sand dune in what seems
to be an endless series of sand dunes, they see a big,
bustling market laid out before them.

Naturally, they can't believe their eyes and think it's a
mirage, but as they draw closer, they can hear the
merchants' cries.  They eventually reach the market and
realize that, indeed, it is really there.

So the legionnaires rush up to the first stall they come to
and cry to the merchant, "Good sir, we have been traveling
in the desert for many days, and have had no food or water.
We shall surely die soon unless you have some you can sell
us - tell us, do you have any sustenance for us?"

The vendor shook his head and replied, "I'm sorry, French
legionnaire type people, but all I have to sell is a load of
bowls full of jelly, topped with custard and cream, and
lovingly finished off with multi-colored sprinkles."

The legionnaires look at each other, mildly surprised, and
move on to the next stall, where they ask the merchant,
"Mister purveyor of fine foodstuffs and the like, we have
been traveling through the desert for days, deprived of the
necessary beverages and foodstuffs which are required for
survival.  We shall surely die soon, unless you can sell us
some skins of water."

The merchant looked at them embarrassed, and confessed,
"Gentlemen, tragic as I admit it is, I have none of the
ingredients necessary to life for which you ask me.  All I
have to sell are these large bowls of jelly topped with
custard, cream and multi-colored sprinkles... with a little
cocktail cherry in the middle at the top - there," he said,
pointing out the glazed cherry.  "I cannot help you."

The legionnaires look at each other in desperation, and run
on to the next stall, where, dropping any sense of proper
market decorum, they demand of the merchant, "Look mate, we
need water or we'll die.  We've been traveling without water
for days and need some now.  Do you have any you can sell
us?"

The merchant looked at his curl-ended shoes in shame as he
confessed, "Sorry, fellas, all I have to sell you is a bowl
of jelly, with custard, cream and topped with multi-colored
sprinkles.  I can't help you.  I'll have to condemn you to a
long and lingering death through dehydration."

The legionnaires were really worried by this point, and they
went through the market, stall by stall, asking each vendor
whether they had any water they could sell them, and thus
save their lives.  But each merchant gave the same reply:
all they had to sell was a bowl of jelly with cream, custard
and topped with multi-colored sprinkles.

Dejected and resigned to their grim fate, the legionnaires
left the desert market and walked off into the setting sun.
As they did so, one turned to the other and said, "That was
really odd - a big market in the middle of nowhere, and all
they sold was bowls of jelly with custard, cream and topped
with multi-colored sprinkles."




The other turned to face his companion and replied, "Yes, it
was a trifle bazaar."

Last Index

Page Index