A young man asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?"


The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts.
In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 
thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. 
After fifty, they are like onions."
"Onions?"
"Yes, see them and they make you cry."

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A young woman asks her mother, "Mom, how many kind of penises are there?"
The mother, surprised, answers, "Well, daughter, a man goes through 
three phases. In a man's twenties, a man's penis is like an oak, mighty
and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is like a birch, flexible but 
reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes, dried up and the balls are there for decoration only."

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