On a Septic Tank Truck sign: 
"We're #1 in the #2 business." 

Sign over a Gynaecologist's Office: 
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix." 

At a Proctologist's door 
"To expedite your visit please back in." 

On a Plumber's truck: 
"We repair what your husband fixed." 

On a Plumber's truck: 
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber." 

Pizza Shop Slogan: 
"7 days without pizza makes one weak." 

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee: 
"Invite us to your next blowouts." 

On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door: 
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?" 

At a Towing company: 
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows." 

On an Electrician's truck : 
"Let us remove your shorts." 

In a Non-smoking Area: 
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action." 

On a Maternity Room door: 
"Push. Push. Push." 

At an Optometrist's Office 
"If you don't see what you're looking for,you've come to the right place." 

On a Taxidermist's window: 
"We really know our stuff." 

In a Podiatrist's office: 
"Time wounds all heels." 

On a Fence: 
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive." 

At a Car Dealership: 
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment." 

Outside a Muffler Shop: 
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming." 

In a Veterinarian's waiting room: 
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!" 

At the Electric Company: 
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment. 
However, if you don't, you will be." 

In a Restaurant window: 
"Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up." 

In the front yard of a Funeral Home: 
"Drive carefully. We'll wait." 

At a Propane Filling Station, 
"Tank heaven for little grills." 

And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop: 
"Best place in town to take a leak." 

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