Subject: Guinness Is Good For You


A man goes into a pub, and the barmaid asks what he wants. 'I want to
bury  my face in your cleavage and lick the sweat from between your
breasts' he says.


'You dirty git,' shouts the barmaid, 'get out before I fetch my
husband.'


The man apologises and promises not to repeat his gaffe.


The barmaid accepts this and asks him again what he wants.  "I want
to pull your pants down, spread yoghurt between the  cheeks of your
arse and lick it all off' he says.


'You dirty filthy pervert. You're banned. Get out.' she storms.


Again, the man apologises and swears never ever to do it again.


'One more chance' says the barmaid. 'Now - what do you want?'


'I want to turn you upside down, fill your fanny with Guinness, and
then drink every last drop.


The barmaid is furious at this personal intrusion, and runs upstairs
to fetch her husband, who's sitting quietly watching the telly


'What's up, love?' he asks


'There's a man in the bar who wants to put his head between my
breasts and lick the sweat off' she says.


I'll kill him. Where is he?' storms the husband.


'Then he said he wanted to pour yoghurt down between my arse cheeks
and lick it off' she screams


'Right. He's dead' says the husband, reaching for a cricket bat.


'Then he said he wanted to turn me upside down, fill my fanny  with
Guinness and then drink it all' she cries.


The husband puts down his bat and goes to his armchair, and switches
the telly back on


'Aren't you going to do something about it?' she cries  hysterically.



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'Look, love - I'm not messing with someone who can drink 12 pints of
Guinness " he replies.

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