1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. 
 
 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you 
 have gained. 
 
 3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 
 
 4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. 
 
 5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent 
 
 6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you 
 absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie. (That's unforgivable if 
 you're a male) 
 
 7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. 
 
 8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash. 
 
 9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up 
 after you are run over by a steamroller. 
 
 10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. 
 
 11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. 
 
 12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a 
 proctologist immediately before he examines you. 
 
 13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish 
 expressions. 
 
 14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts. 
 
 15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, 
 your soul goes  up on the roof and gets stuck there. 
 
 16. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist

Index