RULES OF THE AIR

1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing
is mandatory.

2. If you push the stick forward, the houses
get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they
get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling
the stick all the way back, then they get
bigger again.

3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's
dangerous.

4. It's always better to be down here wishing
you were up there than up there wishing you
were down here.

5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is
when you're on fire.

6. The propeller is just a big fan in front
of the plane used to keep the pilot cool.
When it stops, you can actually watch the
pilot start sweating.

7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude.
No one has ever collided with the sky.

8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can
walk away. A 'great' landing is one after
which they can use the plane again.

9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You
won't live long enough to make all of them
yourself.

10. You know you've landed with the wheels
up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.

11. The probability of survival is inversely
proportional to the angle of arrival. Large
angle of arrival, small probability of
survival and vice versa.

12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere
your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.

3. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining
everyone keeps talking about might be another
aeroplane going in the opposite direction.
Reliable sources also report that mountains
have been known to hide out in clouds.

14. Always try to keep the number of landings
you make equal to the number of take offs
you've made.

15. There are three simple rules for making a
smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what
they are.

16. You start with a bag full of luck and an
empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill
the bag of experience before you empty the bag
of luck.

17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly
the earth repels them.

18. If all you can see out of the window is
ground that's going round and round and all you
can hear is commotion coming from the passenger
compartment, things are not at all as they
should be.

19. In the ongoing battle between objects made
of aluminium going hundreds of miles per hour
and the ground going zero miles per hour, the
ground has yet to lose.

20. Good judgment comes from experience.
Unfortunately, the experience usually comes
from bad judgment.

21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy
end going forward as much as possible.

22. Keep looking around. There's always
something you've missed.

23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea.
It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.

24. The three most useless things to a pilot
are the altitude above you, runway behind you,
and a tenth of a second ago.

Index