Bad: You can't find your vibrator. 
Worse: Your daughter "borrowed" it. 

Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's room. 
Worse: You're in it. 

Bad: Your husband's a cross dresser. 
Worse: He looks better than you. 

Bad: Your wife wants a divorce. 
Worse: She's a lawyer. 

Good: Hot outdoor sex. 
Bad: You're arrested. 
Worse: By your husband. 

Good: The postman's early. 
Bad: He's wearing camos and has an AK-47. 

Good: The secretary said "yes." 
Bad: Your wife says "no." 

Good: You came home for a quickie. 
Bad: So did the postman. 

Good: You came home for a quickie. 
Bad: Your wife walks in. 

Good: You get a three-day weekend. 
Bad: You get the flu on Friday. 

Good: You go to see a strip show. 
Bad: Your daughter's the headliner. 

Good: Your boyfriend's exercising. 
Bad: So he'll fit in your clothes. 

Good: Your child's "waiting for Mr. Right". 
Bad: Your son, that is. 

Good: Your daughter's on the Pill. 
Bad: She's eleven. 

Good: Your neighbor exercises in the nude. 
Bad: She weighs 350 pounds. 

Good: Your wife likes outdoor sex. 
Bad: You live downtown. 

Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude. 
Bad: She's coming home. 

Good: Your wife's kinky. 
Bad: With the neighbors. 
Worse: All of them. 

Index