Here is a guide to the England team for Americans

Dave Seaman
Goaltender with a .675 save average in last four, the Arsenal Gooners
veteran dresses ahead of other netminders James and Martyn and looks for
a fourth consecutive shutout. Stats breakdown of just two handling errors
with no turnover. In the frame to make all-star team of the World Cup
series.

Danny Mills
Outside linebacker with awesome defensive hit ratio of 6-6-8. Will need
to use his 12th ranked change-up to stay with Brazil wide receiver
Denilson.
Topped offensive tackle sinbins in Premiership League last semester and
has rushed for 462 yards so far with 75% crossball completion axis.

Rio Ferdinand
Star defender of England Lions in World Cup series, also linking up with
offense for powerplay from wide corner to send England on its way
against Denmark Danes. Captain of defense and successor to Bob Moore, needs a
huge play to live with Brazil star offender Ronaldo in the shotzone Friday.

Sulzeer Campbell
Got awesome air for headbomb conversion from the deadball as England
ties with Sweden one goal apiece in the opener, but just average (0.369)
groundplay facing run-oriented offensive offender offenses. Rated third
most likely centerblocker to face red-card takedown if the slam hots up.

Ashley Cole
Rookie linebacker and wing-receiver, freshman Cole dresses alongside
domestic lockerbud Campbell for his 12th England show, matching 463
minutes of field time with powerplay change-up stats of 5-6-3 in the
half.  Vital cornerman, new shorts.

Trevor Sinclair
Kicked out of draft but reinstated in roster after injuries to other
midfieldermen, the West Hams wingkicker showed his groundspeed and
determination in repeated transglobe redeye flights prior to Tournament
Japan 02. Can the rookie leap to the top of the intro charts with
outside joggy work?

Nick Butt
6-5-7, 12, 468, 0.43, 0, 0, 0, 1, 0, 98632548, 1, 1, 0 (?), 0, 1. 0.3.

Paul Scholes
Posted missing as England embarrassed itself against underdog Sweden,
but hit right back with power display in centerfield against Argentina in a
grudge match showdown over the Maldives war. Powerblast on the upright
against Nigeria in second quarter pushed kickpoint average over three
for first time since 2001 draft.

David Beckham
Special team star and midfields captain. Has crossfields delivery
success rate well into point-nine-oh's and rates as top special teams kicktaker.
Ranked as most valuable player in Manchester Devils, the right
linewingbackerman marked an assist in three-zip victory over Denmark,
also a spot conversion against the Argentina Longhairs.

Emile Heskey
Weighing in at two-twenty-three pounds, the Liverpool Reds tight-end
makes the startline despite calls for several other offensive linerunners in
the bullpen. Tumbling completion rate of 0.978 and power running upfield
make the offensive batterblocker a tough opponent, although has net targeting
ranking of only four per bi-decade. Allocated 11 jersey in the kit
register in honour of family visiting Twin Towers in early eighties.

Mick Owen
England Lions looks to Owen as its major net sourcer and offensive
matchtaker. Rush average and controlled dribble holding figure in top
quartile of all-time stats, plus tedium quotient among all-time bore
champions of soccer. Question over interception completion logarithm
against fly balls in the defense quarter.

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