A milkman knocks on a woman's door.
 She comes out and asks if she can have 100 pints of milk.
 "100 pints of milk?" he says, "What are you gonna do with all that?"
 "Well," she says, "In the days of Cleopatra she used to bathe in milk to
 keep her skin young so I'm gonna try it."
 "Will pasteurised do?" he says.
 "No," she says, "Up to my t*ts is fine."
 What do you call a Frenchman who wears sandals?
 Philippe Philoppe.
 
 Two blokes on Safari when they came accross a pride of Lions. One of the
 blokes went into his bag and pulled out a pair of NIKE trainers and began
 to put them on.
 The other bloke says "Don't be silly, you'll never out-run a Lion!"
 "NO" he says "But I'll out-run you!!"
 A white horse walked into a pub and ordered a pint of beer.
 The barman said, "Did you know that this pub is named after you?
 And the horse replied, "What Dave?"
 Did u here about the dyslexic alcoholic?
 He choked on his own vimto.
 
 Patient: "Doctor, Doctor I can't stop singing "The green green grass of
 home" or "Delilah". Doctor: "Sounds like you have a severe case of Tom Jones."
 Patient: "Is it rare?"
 Doctor: "It's not unusual."
 What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a carrier bag?  One is
 white, plastic and dangerous to children, and you carry your groceries in
 the other.
 Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
 Because they have big fingers.
 
 What's brown and knock's on your bedroom window.
 A Poo on stilts.
 Did your here about the blind circumsion surgeon.
 He got the sack!
 
 A man phones in work to let his boss know he wont be in today.
 The boss says "Why is that?"
 The man replies "I'm sick"
 "How sick are you?" replies the boss
 The man replies... "WELL IM IN BED WITH MY SISTER",  BOOM BOOM!!!

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