On his recent tour of Australia, the Pope took a couple of days off
  his itinerary to visit the wild outdoors of northern Australia on an
  impromptu safari.
    Deep into the bush, his 4X4 Pope-mobile was driving alongside a river
 when there was an enormous commotion heard up ahead.
    They rushed to see what it was and upon approaching the scene the Pope
 noticed in the river, a hapless man wearing a New Zealand football top,
 struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a twenty foot
 crocodile.
    At that moment a speedboat containing three men wearing green & gold
 football tops roared into view from around a bend in the river.
    Spontaneously, one of the men took aim and fired a harpoon into the
 croc's ribs, immobilising it instantly. The other two reached and pulled
 the Kiwi from the river and using long clubs beat the croc to death. They
 bundled the bleeding, semi conscious man into the speed boat along with
 the dead croc and then prepared for a hasty retreat, when they heard
 frantic shouting from the shore. It was of course the Pope, and he
 summoned them to the river bank.
    Upon them reaching the shore the Pope went into raptures about the
 Rescue and said:
  "I give you my blessing for your brave actions. I had heard that there
 were some racist xenophobic people trying to divide Australia & New
 Zealand, but, now I have seen with my own eyes this is not true. I can see
 that your society is a truly enlightened example of racial harmony and
 could serve as a model on which other nations could follow."

 He blessed them all and drove off in a cloud of dust.
 As he departed, the harpoonist asked the others: 'Who the hell was
 that???!"
 "That," one answered, "was his Holiness the Pope. He is in direct contact
 with God and has access to all God's wisdom."

 "Well", the harpoonist replied, "he knows f#*k all about croc hunting!
 How's that bait holding up or do we need to get another one?"

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