We're all familiar with The Darwin Awards. Next come the Stella Awards,
named after Stella Leibeck who suffered third degree burns to her legs,
groin and buttocks after spilling a cup of McDonalds coffee on herself.
She was driving at the time. Celebrate, if you will, America's most frivolous
lawsuits:
1. Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $780,000 by
a jury after breaking her ankle falling over a child who was running
inside a furniture store. The store owners were surprised by the verdict,
considering that the misbehaving little bastard was Mrs Robertson's son.
2. 19 year old Carl Truman of LA won $74,000 and medical
expenses when his neighbour ran over his hand in a Honda Accord. Mr.
Truman hadn't noticed that there was anyone at the wheel of the vehicle before
trying to steal the hub-caps.
3. Terrence Dickinson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a
house he has just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was unable to
open the garage door from inside, and the door back into the house had
locked shut behind him. The house owners were on vacation. Mr Dickinson
found himself locked in the garage for eight days with just two bottle of
Pepsi and a bag of dog biscuits to live on. He sued the homeowner, and
received half a million dollars for undue mental anguish.
4. Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500
and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by a beagle. The
beagle was chained up in it's owners yard. The award was a little less
than first thought, given that the jury agreed that Mr Williams had provoked
the dog by shooting it repeatedly with an air gum.
5.A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of
Lancaster $113,000 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx.
The beverage was only on the floor because Ms Carson had thrown it at her
boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
6.Kara Walton of Delaware successfully sued the owner of a
night club after she fell from the bathroom window and knocked out her two
front teeth. This occurred while Ms Walton was trying to sneak out and
avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12, 000 and dental
expenses.
And the winner is:
Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma purchased a brand new 32 foot Winnebago motor
home. Upon leaving the dealership, he pulled onto the freeway, set the
cruise control at 70mph and calmly made his way into the back to make
himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the vehicle left the freeway,
crashed and overturned. Mr Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him
in the handbook that he couldn't actually do this. He was awarded $1,750,000
and a new Winnie. Winnebago actually changed their handbooks in case
another complete moron decided to buy one of their vehicles.
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